Monday, September 1, 2008

Long Weekend

My parents were here for the weekend and left around 8:30 this morning. It was soooo nice to have them here. Mom was so helpful with the kids- gave the girls their baths- even Eli as he has a hard time with a huge cast on his arm. Dad fixed our toilet (I think Jeff really appreciated that!). I showed them around our part of Tulsa and yesterday we went to the mall. We skipped church (oops) in the morning, but it was really nice to just sit and visit. We hadn't seen them since June.
I normally won't talk politics, but will say that I am excited about Sarah Palin joining John McCain on the GOP ticket. She is one tough lady and every Alaskan I know has a tremendous amount of respect for her. She changed the way politics are done in Alaska. I am now excited about the election this year!
At the mall yesterday, I had to test Jada's blood sugar. Mom and dad were getting the other kids some ice cream and went on ahead of me. I had to see where she was at before I could give her a snack and so I sat down on a bench next to an older gentlemen. As I poked her finger, he asked me if she had "sugar diabetes". I told him yes and then said, "You know- she can be healed." I didn't know what to say. He said it in a very kind way and began to share his thoughts on healing and prayer. He asked if he could pray for Jada and then prayed for her to be healed. He encouraged me to believe that God will heal her, fully and completely. "We have not, because we ask not." It was a very strange experience. He took me off guard, but was very nice.
Do I want Jada to be healed? Absolutely. No doubt in my mind. Have I asked God to heal her? To take this from her? Absolutely. For the "right" reasons and for selfish reasons! Do I honestly want to have to deal with this for the next fifteen years or more before she is completely responsible for herself? No! And again, last night, after my conversation with this man, I asked again. Because, really, I don't want Jada to have to deal with this disease for the rest of her life. My mother's heart cries for her everytime she has a bad reading- everytime she's feeling crummy because she's been running high all day. Every time I put her to bed and *hope* that I gave her enough carbs to get her through the night. When I wake up in the middle of the night to check her and those few times that I have had to wake her to force her to eat, so that she will wake up in the morning. When the other kids get ice cream and she gets a diet cokeor a stick of string cheese. Or how about when the other kids get a bag of m &m's and she will happily take a few tic-tacs instead. She loves orange tic tacs. My heart cries in fear of her getting a cold or a flu bug, because she could easily end up in the hospital.
I did not choose this life for her. I had no idea that this was a part of His plan. Do I think God intended for her to have diabetes? Sometimes I think yes, sometimes, I think no- really I don't know. But now- it is a part of His plan for her life and for our family's life- because she does have it. Yes- there will be a day when she won't have it any more. Whether it is on this side of eternity, or the next, where she will be complete and whole, I don't know. I DO KNOW- God is Faithful. He is Just. His mercies are neverending. He has given me tremendous joy in the midst of these last five months since she was diagnosed. This disease has reminded me that life is so very precious. It is my hope that as Jada grows older with diabetes, that she, too, will find her wholeness and completeness in her relationship with Jesus. That her identity would be found in Him, and not bound up in this disease. She can live a full and complete life. I do believe that God can heal her- but I also believe that she can be a great testimony and witness while living with this disease.

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