Saturday, November 29, 2008

It's Over and We're on Our Own Again

Thanksgiving has come and gone- just like that. My sister, her husband and 3 kiddos were here. What an amazing weekend. Nothing huge happened- didn't do the Black Friday shopping thing. We just hung out. The kids played and didn't fight. My sis and I stayed up way too late on Thanksgiving night- it was 2:30 by the time we were in bed. Just talking- as unimportant the things were that we talked about, the talk itself was so important. I really felt connected to her.
On Thanksgiving, she and I pulled off the big meal all by ourselves. Neither of us had done that before. We pulled it off and it was GOOD! It made us feel quite grown up, actually! ;) It was soooo good, that the kids haven't objected to eating nothing but left overs since then. Nice.
They left to go home this morning. It's always sad to see my family go, even if I know they have to. It would have been a depressing weekend for me if they hadn't come- this weekend is one of the busiest for Jeff at work. A year ago, I was sitting in a hotel room in TX- bored- depressed out of my mind. In a HUGE city where know one knew me. So, I was-am-grateful for their presence over the course of the weeked. Can't wait to see them at Xmas time.
I'm falling asleep as I type, so I need to check Jada's blood and head to bed- unless she needs a snack! Her numbers, by the way, have been awesome! So grateful for many things, but Jada's great numbers top them all!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Heavy Heart

I wish tonight that I could be cheerful and rattle off my Thanksgiving thankfulness list, instead, there are a few people that are weighing heavy on my heart. It's been a tough week for some that I love very much. And I couldn't/can't physically be there for them.
My dear friend Kim lost her brother this week. He was only 47, I think. She lives in Alaska, he in Denver and she had to make an emergency trip (not an easy task when you live half a world away). She managed to make it to the hospital four hours before he passed away. I can only imagine the grief that Kim, her siblings and parents are feeling tonight. His memorial service was earlier today. Tomorrow- she picks up and heads back home to Fairbanks.
The other person, who will remain nameless at this point, last night discovered something that will change her life forever. My heart aches for her and my prayer for her is that she will cease to believe the lies that Satan is telling her and really understand that her wholeness comes from Jesus Christ. Hopefully, I'll be able to share more in the future. I would appreciate any prayers for this sweet, sweet person that I have come to love and appreciate so much.
Jada's blood sugar today was goofy. I'm not sure why- so frustrating. She even had an abundance of excerise! Tonight, we got off schedule and didn't have supper until about 7:30 pm (usually, it's at about 6) and rather than being low, she was much higher than she should have been. We were out getting shopping done for Thanksgiving and I checked her a couple of times, and I thought that by the time we were home, she would be on her way down, but no such luck tonight. She was up by 60! I just hate giving her a shot that late in the evening, but we had no choice. I'm thinking I'm probably going to have wake her up to feed her at midnight to prevent a scary morning low. I won't be able to sleep until I know that she's going to be fairly stable tonight.
Thanksgiving is just a few days away- the holidays are upon us! My sister and her family are coming from Iowa. I can't wait to see them! I have much to do before then! This house needs cleaned from top to bottom. The boys don't know it- but their first day of Thanksgiving break will be spent helping their mama get ready for company! I'm sure they'll be grateful for the opportunity to help me out!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Almost Over

Jeff and I have been doing a Daniel Fast for almost two weeks. We'll be done on Sunday and what an interesting time it's been. With a Daniel fast, food is permitted, but is limited to fruits, vegetables and whole grains (but no bread). We could also have nuts- which really was the only thing that really made us feel full. It's taken from the book of Daniel in the Bible. I thought, initially that it wouldn't be too difficult, but I think that a full fast might have been easier. Who really knows.
Jeff and I participated in this fast with The Church at Battle Creek and it also coincided with us seeking the Lord about some things in our life, so it seemed like a no brainer when the opportunity was presented. For the first week, I was just hungry- all of the time. I spent a whole lot of time in prayer and in the Word and honestly- I can say, that my hunger pains subsided during those times. My mornings were totally thrown off without coffee! Poor Jeff had severe caffeine headaches all week. There were so many times that I wanted to throw in the towel, and made up all kinds of good reasons to quit- almost convinced myself several times. In the end, I decided, that it all came down to character and commitment. I really needed to be able to finish this strongly. So many times, I could have snuck food. Halloween candy has been sitting on the counter in a bowl, in easy reach. I have managed to make it through without succumbing. Now, we just have a few more days and while I wanted to give up tonight when we took the kids to Sonic, Jeff encouraged me to just hang tough a few more days.
Spiritually, it's been interesting. We have definitely experienced some spiritual warfare and when we begin to experience this, we know that God is ready to do something in our lives. I have been thinking a ton about my commitment and relationship with Jesus- am I living out my faith the same way I talk about it? My conclusion....not always. Especially when it comes to relationships with in our family. If I can't walk it on a daily basis with my kids and husband, then I'm not really doing it at all. It all starts at home.
We've also been looking for a place to plug in at church ministry wise. We're looking at a couple of things. One is working with college age group and the other is just leading a small group. I think that will all unfold in the next few weeks and I am super excited to get busy!
I suppose I ought to talk a little about Jada, since this blog was created for her. The little Princess is doing well. Her numbers have been fantastic. Actually, we've had quite a few days, where she was on the low side and I'm wondering if it isn't time to change her correction factor. In this fast, I have dealt with and talked to God alot about her diabetes. I will always ask for her healing and yes, I believe He can do. Whether He will, I don't know. In the dealing with it, I feel like God has lifted some of this burden from my shoulders. He handles things so much better than I do!
Ok- off to check Jada's blood sugar before I head to bed. Hope I don't have to wake her up.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Blogging Diabetes

Today I'm blogging with countless others about this disease and how it has affected my life and Jada's life. My life has profoundly changed since her diagnosis on March 23 of this year. It has been a gruelling, tiring marathon to keep her healthy and to keep her blood glucose numbers in a healthy range. I have had more sleepless nights than even when my babies were tiny. I have shed more tears than I thought possible. There are nights, when Jeff gets home, that I have to be done checking, feeding and dosing because I think I'm going to lose my mind. (Some of you may already think my mind is way gone already!) It's not all been horrible, though.

My joy has come from some expected and some unexpected places.

Psalm 121:1-2 says " I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? " My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth."

The Lord has been my steady hand through all of this. I have asked Him countless times why, why, why. No, He hasn't told me why, but I do know this has caused me to lean even more into Him to get through this.

My husband, Jeff. His patience with me is endless and his willingness to help in any way means more to me than anything. He works very long hours and then comes home and steps up to the plate, giving me some relief. I couldn't get through this without him.

My children. They have always been precious to me, but when Jada had her brush with death, they became so much more. I find myself wanting to cling to every moment with them, knowing that life is short and we don't know when the Lord will call us home.

I also find great joy in good blood sugar readings! Knowing that what I am doing is keeping her healthy, is very rewarding.

I find joy, when I check Jada in the middle of the night, and I don't have to wake her up to feed her!

I'm finding joy in educating myself about diabetes and discovering what foods work best in her little body. I've finally figured out- finally- that when she's low, I can't give her 15 grams of carbs, even if it's at snack time. She'll completely rebound and have numbers well above 200. I have to give her about 6 grams at a time and it helps her to stay in range.

I'm finding joy in the fact that I don't always have to use a calculator anymore to figure out her insulin dosage. I have always disliked math and have never been good at it. I guess practice makes perfect.

My life has continued. We do the same things that we did before her diagnosis with just a little more planning. I am pumped for her future. I think a cure is out there, but even if it doesn't come in her lifetime, I'm quite sure that she can live a long life, even healthier than some who doen't have diabetes. I'm in it for the long haul.