Tuesday, December 2, 2008

It's the Little Things....

"Can I have one, too?" was Jada's question for me as the staff of the Christmas tree farm we went to tonight was handing out candy canes to their guests. I had just taken her blood sugar and she was 206- I had to tell her no and put it in my purse for later. David, Eli and Mary Beth gave me the questioning look- could they have their candy canes right now? I shook my head and when they looked at Jada's face, quietly put them away. I was so proud of them for considering Jada's feelings at this moment. When we got in the rig (Alaskan for SUV), Eli was in the front seat with Jeff, eating his candy cane. I didn't notice until I saw Jada's lips puckered up and tears rolling down her cheek as she stared at him enjoying the coveted candy cane. I cried along with her tonight, hurting so badly with her as we faced the reality of this disease. It's seems so silly, so simple. But these are the things that are hard- the little things. We can handle the birthdays, the holidays, the family get togethers, the trips to McDonalds- because for the most part they are planned for. But, when she is offered a piece of candy or everyone wants to stop for ice cream and then she can only get a diet soda because of her blood sugar, that's tough. The joy of spontaniety is completely removed and I want it back!

6 comments:

Jen said...

Oh, Amy! I'm so sorry. I does hurt us so as moms when our little ones hurt, doesn't it. I hope Jada has a good day soon & can enjoy her candy cane!

Sarah said...

This made me cry. I can just picture her pretty little face being so sad :( She is certainly learning the joys of delayed gratification!!

Jill Johnson said...

Oh, it's not silly at all! A candy cane at Christmas is a big thing to a little one. I pray, too, that Jada will get her candy cane, soon...and for healing, that she may enjoy many such treats with her family.

Penny said...

Ah, this made me cry. It is an all too familiar story.

As a parent you want what's best for your child. With this disease what's best for your child is a judgement call.

There have been plenty of times when I've had to tell Riley no about treats or candy. Then, there have been times when he's high and I let him have the treat/candy anyway. I don't want him resenting his disease.

Either way I feel guilty. Either I deprive him of something and make him feel "different" thus doing damage to his mind. Or, I let him indulge and let his sugar rage, thus doing damage to his body.

(((big hug)))

Amy said...

Thanks, everyone! I needed your encouraging words today! I feel like this disease has kicked my rear the last few days. She's had pretty good numbers the last few weeks and I was feeling good, but the highs have reared their ugly heads again and I just get really down- so thanks a bunch!

Jill said...

Hi Amy,
I just found your blog. My daughter Kacey is 8 and is Type 1 too. I agree with Penny on this one... there are days I've told Kacey no and then there were other days where I threw my hands in the air and said she could have it because she was running high anyway. We have another daughter that is 14 and there are times where we tell her no as well and she gets very frustrated and tells me "Mom you're punishing me too and thats not fair!" but then there are days where she just doesnt ask because she knows. Its a Catch 22 :( The day of Kaceys school Christmas party, she came home with a candy cane flavored sucker in her bag and she said "Mommy, I ate the chex mix because I knew I could have it but I saved the sucker for Sissy." My heart broke for her and I had to explain that if she'd like to have the sucker then we could add it into the dinner dose. She insisted that it wasnt good for her anyway and she'd like to give it to her sister.

So it's hard and I know how ya feel!