Sunday, November 9, 2008

Blogging Diabetes

Today I'm blogging with countless others about this disease and how it has affected my life and Jada's life. My life has profoundly changed since her diagnosis on March 23 of this year. It has been a gruelling, tiring marathon to keep her healthy and to keep her blood glucose numbers in a healthy range. I have had more sleepless nights than even when my babies were tiny. I have shed more tears than I thought possible. There are nights, when Jeff gets home, that I have to be done checking, feeding and dosing because I think I'm going to lose my mind. (Some of you may already think my mind is way gone already!) It's not all been horrible, though.

My joy has come from some expected and some unexpected places.

Psalm 121:1-2 says " I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? " My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth."

The Lord has been my steady hand through all of this. I have asked Him countless times why, why, why. No, He hasn't told me why, but I do know this has caused me to lean even more into Him to get through this.

My husband, Jeff. His patience with me is endless and his willingness to help in any way means more to me than anything. He works very long hours and then comes home and steps up to the plate, giving me some relief. I couldn't get through this without him.

My children. They have always been precious to me, but when Jada had her brush with death, they became so much more. I find myself wanting to cling to every moment with them, knowing that life is short and we don't know when the Lord will call us home.

I also find great joy in good blood sugar readings! Knowing that what I am doing is keeping her healthy, is very rewarding.

I find joy, when I check Jada in the middle of the night, and I don't have to wake her up to feed her!

I'm finding joy in educating myself about diabetes and discovering what foods work best in her little body. I've finally figured out- finally- that when she's low, I can't give her 15 grams of carbs, even if it's at snack time. She'll completely rebound and have numbers well above 200. I have to give her about 6 grams at a time and it helps her to stay in range.

I'm finding joy in the fact that I don't always have to use a calculator anymore to figure out her insulin dosage. I have always disliked math and have never been good at it. I guess practice makes perfect.

My life has continued. We do the same things that we did before her diagnosis with just a little more planning. I am pumped for her future. I think a cure is out there, but even if it doesn't come in her lifetime, I'm quite sure that she can live a long life, even healthier than some who doen't have diabetes. I'm in it for the long haul.

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