All Alonely

Does anyone see her sitting there?
All alonely?
So small. So big.
Meter in her hand
God...was this really your plan?
I know that she already feels all "alonely"...
Different than the rest...
Really, though, she's better than the best....
Jesus, give her Your Grace...
To face what she has to face.....
I can't take that "alonely" away....
I trust that You will meet her there...
God...I put her in Your care....
Letting go continually...
Help me show her, You are all she needs.


On Friday, Jada and I went to Sam's Club and did some shopping. It was lunch time and we decided to have some pizza. I ordered, then had Jada pick out a place to sit and had her check her blood sugar. She chose a table in the middle of the cafe area....tons of people on each side of her, but no one in that very middle row. I turned around to look at her, and she seemed so small. So very out of place all by herself. And then she pulled out her meter and checked out her blood sugar. She suddenly seemed so BIG...so old. So mature. And still so very alone in that room full of people. Alonely...by the way, is how Jada refers to doing something alone or being alone.

One of the things I hate most about this disease is how it sets our children apart from others and how that makes them feel. Right now, I can help to protect her and sometimes control things so that she doesn't notice it so much. As she gets older and becomes more independent, I won't always be there. Then, eventually, she will really be on her own and I might get the weekly phone call. I *hope* that I am doing all that I can to help her feel confident in herself..to prepare her for a life of facing this disease by herself. I know the stress and pressure I feel...how will it be for her? This is something I think about ALL THE TIME.

This is what I do know. In my "aloneliest" times, Jesus has met me there. Right where I was....angry, confused, dejected and feeling very "alonely" in a world that kept on buzzing by. My sweetest times with God have been when I was so down that I didn't know which way was up. He was there....at the bottom of the pit with me. I don't know what the road for Jada looks like...I know there could very well be some pitfalls ahead for her and that at times, she may well could.......feel very alone. And I cringe....because I. DON'T. WANT. THAT. But, this is her disease and one day, it will be hers to fight on her own. I know how much grace I need to get through my day...what about her? My prayer for Jada....and all our kids....is to know that Jesus is there....and that He will meet them right where they are.

Goodbye Sam and Coops

I'm packing up baby food, bottles, diapers, wipes and extra clothes. Not my kids, but Sam and Cooper's things. And I'm getting very sad. These two kiddos have become a part of our family since I started to babysit them last fall. Today is their last day here.

Cooper was just a few months old and Samantha was 2 going on 10! Sam is a bundle of energy, always on the go, always curious, and always laughing. There's been a TON of little girl laughter in this home the past several months as she and Jada danced their way through the cold winter months in their dress up clothes. Cooper has been my snugglebug. I've loved every minute with him. He rolled over for the first time on my living room floor and it's been a joy to watch him progress from teeny tiny to now beginning to toddle around on two feet. He'll be 10 months old on Monday.

We're going to miss you, Sam and Cooper! I'm predicting LOTS of playdates in the future!!!

A Little Bit of Catch Up

I've been absent lately. I know. When I'm on, it seems like I catch up on Facebook and just don't have time to sit and get my thoughts together to blog. We're doing well. Jada's numbers for the most part have been fairly stable....with the exception of a HI that we got yesterday, then after washing her hands, we got somewhere in the 360's. It was really rather random....she had been with me all morning and I know where the Easter candy was! And it was nowhere NEAR her! I think the ole' D monster just wanted to remind me that he's still there!

The other big, HUGE change coming for our family is that I am getting a JOB! I haven't worked outside our home since before David was born, so this will be an adjustment! The company I'm working for cleans and caters airplanes at the airport. As tourist season comes into full swing, I will be assisting elderly and handicapped in wheelchairs off and on the airplanes. It will be 3-4 days a week in the evening, so child care won't be an issue for the kids. And....there are flight benefits! :) I start next week!

If you remember a few months ago, my niece got married. Jeff's cousin from Seattle came up to photograph the wedding and posted a slide show of the wedding on her web site. There are a few photos of the girls in there and just wanted to share it. I know a few of you live in the Washington/Oregon area and if you ever need a photographer to capture moments/events, Kim is absolutely amazing! If you want to take a look, go here.

Well...that will catch you up a bit for now. Life here in the far north has been BUSY!