My emotions are still running high this morning after we had a pretty close call last night. I still feel on edge...you just can't fully trust any number. Even this morning, she wanted oatmeal for breakfast, which usually means no matter how long I make her wait to eat, she skyrockets. Not so this morning...she just told me she felt low and after testing, was 120. Yes...a great number, but she's falling fast and we have another two hours before lunch.
So.....last night. Jada's bedtime number was 142. Again, great number, but I assumed she was still coming down. We didn't eat dinner until nearly 7 pm, which is just too late. Her blood sugar at dinner was 307 and I actually only corrected for her blood sugar....I didn't even give her enough insulin to cover the 30 grams of carbs that she ate because it was so late for a shot. So, when her blood sugar was 142 at bedtime, I let her eat a whole banana....about 30 grams when I typically only would give her half. I thought for sure that would stablize things and then I would check her a little earlier than normal to catch a drop. About 45 minutes after she fell asleep, Eli came out of his room and told us that he could hear Jada "being crabby" and thought we needed to check her. I jumped up to get her meter and then here she came, stumbling down the hallway. Head was bobbing and she was incoherently talking. I grabbed some juice and Jeff took her blood sugar. 50. Obviously in a full on CRASH. She fought the juice, fought the glucose tabs....she wasn't there. Jeff finally just stuck the juice straw in her mouth and once she started to drink, she couldn't get it down fast enough. Then, some glucose tabs. 20 minutes later she was up to 81. An hour after that, she was only up to 99, so I fed her some more and when she got up to 130, I put her back in bed then set my alarm for 1:30 am. Well, there was no need for that, because I couldn't sleep. At 1:30, she was 240, so I went to bed, but never really slept.
This morning, I'm tired. Not even 3 cups of coffee have touched me. It's so much more than physically tired. I'm just spent. All I can think about is the what ifs. Jeff was more freaked out than I had ever seen him. And Eli....poor kid. It really scared him. I found him late last night with a pillow and blanket sleeping in the hallway next to the girl's bedroom. I don't want him to feel that he's responsible for his sister. It's too big of a burden for him to bear at his age.
It's nights like last night that makes me wonder how we'll ever make it through this. Not because I can't do the legwork that comes with it, but because it's just one big monster that's a force to be reckoned with. And in saying that, I feel like I'm wimping out. But, I'm not. I'll never surrender. I just need to regroup!