Thursday, March 25, 2010

Low Blood Sugar = High Emotion

My emotions are still running high this morning after we had a pretty close call last night. I still feel on just can't fully trust any number. Even this morning, she wanted oatmeal for breakfast, which usually means no matter how long I make her wait to eat, she skyrockets. Not so this morning...she just told me she felt low and after testing, was 120. Yes...a great number, but she's falling fast and we have another two hours before lunch.

So.....last night. Jada's bedtime number was 142. Again, great number, but I assumed she was still coming down. We didn't eat dinner until nearly 7 pm, which is just too late. Her blood sugar at dinner was 307 and I actually only corrected for her blood sugar....I didn't even give her enough insulin to cover the 30 grams of carbs that she ate because it was so late for a shot. So, when her blood sugar was 142 at bedtime, I let her eat a whole banana....about 30 grams when I typically only would give her half. I thought for sure that would stablize things and then I would check her a little earlier than normal to catch a drop. About 45 minutes after she fell asleep, Eli came out of his room and told us that he could hear Jada "being crabby" and thought we needed to check her. I jumped up to get her meter and then here she came, stumbling down the hallway. Head was bobbing and she was incoherently talking. I grabbed some juice and Jeff took her blood sugar. 50. Obviously in a full on CRASH. She fought the juice, fought the glucose tabs....she wasn't there. Jeff finally just stuck the juice straw in her mouth and once she started to drink, she couldn't get it down fast enough. Then, some glucose tabs. 20 minutes later she was up to 81. An hour after that, she was only up to 99, so I fed her some more and when she got up to 130, I put her back in bed then set my alarm for 1:30 am. Well, there was no need for that, because I couldn't sleep. At 1:30, she was 240, so I went to bed, but never really slept.

This morning, I'm tired. Not even 3 cups of coffee have touched me. It's so much more than physically tired. I'm just spent. All I can think about is the what ifs. Jeff was more freaked out than I had ever seen him. And Eli....poor kid. It really scared him. I found him late last night with a pillow and blanket sleeping in the hallway next to the girl's bedroom. I don't want him to feel that he's responsible for his sister. It's too big of a burden for him to bear at his age.

It's nights like last night that makes me wonder how we'll ever make it through this. Not because I can't do the legwork that comes with it, but because it's just one big monster that's a force to be reckoned with. And in saying that, I feel like I'm wimping out. But, I'm not. I'll never surrender. I just need to regroup!


Reyna said...

Ahhh Amy...feel the love and understanding from Vermont my friend. It is a beast to manage at times...and at times it doesn't seem to let up.

We are "ON" all the breaks...ever. Ofcourse you need 3 cups of coffee. I drink a pot or so a day. Our schedules are grueling. It would bring even the strongest, most emotionally stable, even-keeled, well adjusted person/family to their knees begging for mercy.

Re-group my friend. We are all here with right along side you...loving you and your sweet girl Jada...and Eli sounds like one AWESOME dude.

Donna said...

Oh Amy. So so so sorry you had to go through that.
You will re-group.
You will continue to be the super-star D-Mom that you are.

Natalie said...

That is SOOO SCARY! My daughter Oakley accidentally pulled her Dexcom out last night after her bath, so we decided to wait until after school today to put it back in.....BIG MISTAKE. She woke-up (thank goodness) on her own to check in the middle of the night and was at a 39. I have gotten to where I can't handle diabetes without the Dexcom. We trust it so much to alarm us when things are wrong. I woke-up this morning thinking the same thing....what if?! Good luck! Just keep trodden!!

Misty said...

Amy, that must have been so scary! What a fantastic brother to look out for her :) We should all be so lucky. I know what you mean about the emotion of it all just draining you. Be strong!

Nicole said...

It is just so scary and I'm so happy that Jada is ok ((BIG HUGS)) to everyone.

And Eli what an amazing brother camped out in front of the girls room. That brought a tear to my eye what a great kid :)

Melissa's Thoughts said...

I know how horrible that must have been for you and Jeff. It's times like that where things we are taught kick in and afterwards you melt. But as you sit there today know that you did a great job getting her sugar up and the monster didn't win. Showed his ugly face, but didn't win. You kicked his butt last night. :) Sleep well tonight. You will be in my prayers.

Heidi / Jack's Pack said...

Oh, how scary! What a night! I can just imagine your complete fatigue today. D seems to suck the life out of us at times, doesn't it?! But as you said, there's no surrendering, just re-grouping.

How lucky Jada is to have a caring brother like Eli! I know what you mean about not wanting him to shoulder the weight of D, but still, how sweet that he slept in the hallway outside of her bedroom.

Hang in there!

Meri said...

The scary moments rock our world. Good thing our little ones have angels watching out for them...some in the form of brothers.

rockseevangundy said...

sweetheart, you did all you can! The thing about diabeties.. you just don't know.. no matter what you do, if it's gonna crash.. it's gonna crash. Eli caught it, you fixed it and all as well. Tommorrow is another day!

But what I want you to understand, is that you are amazing d mom! You do so much to be proactive and control this for jada, because she is too young to do it herself. It takes alot of strength to do that and you do it so well everyday.

It will be better. It always does.

love you!

phonelady said...

Take it from someone who has the big d for a long time you will do this because you have to and so will Jada because she has too . everybody that has the big d has too , You will make it through one day at a time just remember that .

Laura said...

That is scary! I love what Meri said. Love the angels watching out for our kiddos.

Here's to better numbers, Friend!!

and some good sleep!

Kristen Zayon said...

Oh my! What you said about Eli just brought tears to my eyes. Even though I know you don't want him to feel that burden, it's sweet that he loves her so much and wants to protect her.

You are always in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there. God is strong enough for all of you!

Wendy said...

This is heart stopping...I know this panic all too well.

God bless these precious children.

AjsMommy82 said...

Wow poor girl! That must of been scary for all of you! Good thing her brother was watching out for her! What a sweet boy!