Sunday, April 28, 2013

B is for (low)Blood Sugar....NOT Barbie.....

Today we celebrated Jada's 8th birthday with her friends.  Last week she told me she wanted a Barbie party.  I'm not too much of a planner, so I didn't think it would be a problem.  Barbie is everywhere, right?  Well, Barbie herself is everywhere.  Barbie birthday party decor is NOT.  At least not in Fairbanks, Alaska.  Yes, we are remote, but we have more here than where I was from in Iowa, so I was a little miffed that I couldn't find anything to fit her theme.

So, I was going to have to get a little creative.  It wasn't too hard as Barbie is nothing but pink, pink and more pink.  Throw in some black and white zebra stripes, and you have a pretty cute little party going on.  She didn't want cake, because she won't eat it, but asked for cookies instead.  This is what we ended up with.  Throw a big pink "B" on those cookies, and voila!  Perfect Barbie cookies!

The party was today at 3:00 pm. I was going to finish the cookies when we got home.  Jeff and I had a brunch to go to this morning, so we left around 9:30.  Jada's blood sugar was high...without looking at her meter I want to say it was around 300.  I gave a correction, then left.  Our oldest is 14 and can take care of her just as well, if not better than any adult I could leave her with.  That, coupled with the fact that I could check on her constantly via phone, left me feeling okay with leaving with for a few hours today.  We got a phone call more than halfway through the brunch that she was still high. As a matter of fact, she had jumped up to over 400.  They gave a correction and I knew that we would be home within the hour.  On our way home, Jada called just to lsee where we were and how long it would take us to get home.  At that point, we were less than 5 minutes away.  When we walked in the door, Jada was sitting on the couch, a pasty white face, meter at her side.  She looked at Jeff and said, "I'm low".  45.  And falling. Fast.  I run for the juice.   She refused it.  Chocolate milk.  She refused.  She got combative. And sweaty. sweaty.  Her hair was wet with sweat.  Jeff grabbed the pink frosting intended for the cookies and she shoved it away.  At that point,he grabbed her, held her hands down and I grabbed the frosting and squeezed it into the side of her mouth.  She tried to spit it out.  My baby girl was completely out of her head.  Crying, screaming.  I managed to get more into her mouth and after what seemed like forever, but less than 30 seconds, she was reasonable again.  And she drank the juice, then ate a bowl of cereal.

And I sat back and tried to comprehend what had just happened.  What if we had been delayed by 5 minutes....what if we had been delayed by even 3 minutes?  I might have walked into my house with Jada having a seizure.....or worse.  And then the guilt sets in.  I shouldn't have left her with a high blood sugar.  I should have come home immediately with the news of a 400 blood sugar.  And the what ifs and the I should haves just kept coming....and coming....and coming....   Even after things had calmed down and we had guests here for her party.  They kept coming until I decided I needed to put it to rest until I could really deal with it.

The party was great.  So much fun for her to celebrate with her friends and I had a blast catching up with these moms that I only get to see for a few minutes at a time usually.   It ended up being a great day.  And she didn't get the "B"on her cookies.  Instead, that frsoting was used to combat a  potentially deadly low.

Now that I've had some time to think about today, I know what I would do differently.  I would have made sure to tell her to wash her hands and recheck that 400.  I might have told her to eat something when she corrected that 400, because it had been several hours since breakfast.  

And there's this.  Jeff and I haven't been away even for a night together since diagnosis 5 years ago.  So, getting out for a few hours with each other has been something we've been doing consistently since our oldest was of babysitting age.  We've always stayed with in a 10-15 minute drive and the phones sit next to our plates if we're at a restaurant.  But still, I have to question myself.  Is this an ok thing to do?  We all know what a difference just a moment can make in the treatment of a low blood sugar.  It's not the norm for Jada to have these frantic, crashing blood sugars, and her highs and lows usually follow some sort of pattern that I can anticipate.  But not today.  It's days like today that make me question all that I am doing.  It reminds me that this disease is such a BEAST and that she is forever subjected to what this beast is going to dictate in her little body.  

Even though today had it's formidable challenges, I am so thankful we made it through.  Her blood sugars were all over the board today,  but not scary low like the first one.  Most of all I am thankful for 8 years with this little girl...who told me the other day that I was her "BFF".   I am one lucky mama!


Donna Webber said...

You are such an amazing Mother and woman to juggle all the things you do. Please know that there are so many people who look up to you and respect you. i am first in that line. As hard as it still push through because its all that you as a Mom knows how to do. You are the reason we have a day celebrating Mothers, lots of love and prayers from my family to yours.

Rachel Lundy said...

Oh, what a scary day! You are a courageous mom! Brave, bold, and fighting for your daughter. You totally deserve that BFF title. :)